Yes, it’s a Sunday blog. But everything is so pre-Christmas and topsy-turvy, why not?

Besides, there’s something to say that’s been brewing up for ages.

It started with an advert in our area for a cable company (bear with me, this gets to relate to personal development shortly). The company’s strapline seems to be, “If you can, you should”.

And on the surface, it’s a reasonable, and some would say, motivational, statement.

But having been faced with several people, in the last few weeks, who’ve either been urging me or themselves to do something, “because they can”, I’ve been revisiting the whole idea of “can” and “should” in tandem.

Why do these words pack a punch?

I’m still not sure about this. My best guess is that, rather like an elderly relative who says,
“In our day, we never had all your opportunities. You go and make the most of them!”

the motivation is a powerful combination of “towards” factors (the alluring “pull” of new possibilities) and the away from “push” that comes from fear of missing out, and/ or disappointing yourself or others.

So potentially, the idea that, “if you can you should” could cause a person to take an awful lot of action, right across the board, on a fairly powerful and unconscious level.

But…

But the phrase has the potential to make things harder rather than easier.

Let’s face it, there’s a huge number of things that we, as fortunate 21st century citizens, can do.

We can chuck everything in and go backpacking for a year. We can spend 18 hours a day building a business. We can form new freindships all over the globe via the internet. Etc, etc.

But just because we can do something, doesn’t mean, necessarily that we should. No-one says thta a given choice would necessarily be the best one for each and every one of us.

Internal stress

Which leads to a pretty stressful internal situation for many of us, which far from offering us more freedom and choice, actually goes like this inside your mind:

“Oh crumbs, which choice should I make? So many choices…Must take advantage of at least some of them-after all I’m so lucky to have them…But which choice should I make?”

And so the cycle carries on. And more often than not, it leads to people doing less than they might have done in an era with more “limited choice”.

One idea

What then, is the alternative? One idea that seems to be working for me, and several people that I know, is this.

1. Think about all the choices which really make you feel enthusiastic.

2. Filter out any that don’t give you that same buzz.

3. Of the remaining choices, pick the one(s) that seem both fun and practical.

4. Start taking action, being ready to make further changes if necessary.

In effect, even if you “can” do something, drop the “should”.

Hope this helps.

More soon.

Clare