However, the idea of seeds set me thinking about a low-cost (and fun) way to assess your own approach to manifesting changes in your life.

It happened like this.

LSS and I suddenly decided one evening a couple of weeks ago actually to plant the many packets of seeds we seemedd to have accumulated over the last year or so. We are not gardeners in any sense, so this was a completely new experience for us (and for our window boxes).

In went the tomato seeds, the sunflowers, the salad veg, and the seeds of the pink flowers I can’t remember the name of, because I stupidly chucked away the packet.

Anyway, it was a hot evening, so we watered them, and waited.

Now, the packets talked about 14 days+ before germination. So really, other than watering, I should have put them out of my mind.

Did I do this? Did I heck.

After 24 hours, I was impatiently wondering why I couldn’t see even a green shoot, and thinking that actually the packets might be old/duds etc.

And then it hit me. As with seeds, so with life. Once the seed of an idea is sown, it too needs time to grow, develop and come to fruition. Doubting it does no good at all. There was I thinking I was such a good manifestor….and when faced with a really practical manifestation situation, here was a really basic error on my part.

In fact, we began to see green shoots, amazingly. after just three days…and now that two weeks have passed, it actually looks like nearly all the seeds we planted are through . (And this even though I had “planned” for a much higher attrition/non-germination rate).

In the end of course, seeds are designed by nature to come through, if possible. And in the same way, maybe we, as individuals are too…if only we can trust the process of life that bit more.

Have a go at planting some seeds if the fancy takes you…and check out what the process tells you aout yourself, at the same time.

Hoipe this helps.

More soon, though not quite sure when.

Clare

I heard recently, from someone who I’d call a normally reliable source as far as facts like this go, that in Chinese, there is no word for “difficulty”, and that instead, the situation is viewed (linguistically at least!) as an opportunity for growth and development.

So, if you’re in a position to confirm this (or otherwise), please let me know.

But in any event, the comment, whether accurate or not, got me thinking. What if we all replaced the concept of “difficulty” or even, “misfortune” with “opportunity”?

Not being one to recommend an idea without giving it a go first, I’ve tried this out in the past week, in relation to one of my least favourite tasks, the yearly accounts.

To apply the idea, I thought of each of my “difficulties” with the task (lack of mathematical ability, boredom, etc) as an opportnity to explore why I felt that way.

And I can now report that the accounts are done, and:

1) I know more about where my general difficulties with maths come from.

2) I’ve proved to myself that actually, I’m quite a bit better with numbers than I thought,when I process them in a way that suits me (ie juxtaposed with lots of words and colour) and

3) I’m slimmer than last year, having not needed to resort to my old way of getting through the task (one chocolate reward for each month completed)!

Hope that some aspect of all this is of use to you too.

More soon.

Clare

Namely, what the heck do you do if you’re enrolled on a “bricks-and -mortar” course and find, for whatever reason, that the whole experience is really, really, not to your taste?

Here are some general thoughts around the subject.

1. Be sure that your feelings aren’t part of what’s meant to happen on the course. For example, if something is billed as being,”A challenge to your existing beliefs” then it probably will feel at least a tad strange and uncomfortable whilst those beliefs are being poked around and maybe even altered.

2. If possible, speak to the course tutor or organisers ASAP and tell them how you feel. A caring tutor will have your best interests and well-being at heart and will want to make sure you have the best possible experience.

3. You always have options. For example, if push comes to shove, you can always leave.

True, on some longer, more “group orientated” courses, you’ll probably be told that “the group dynamic needs and includes you” along with some (gentle-or-not-so-gentle) pressure to stay.
Also, before leaving, be as sure as you can that it isn’t some relevant issue of your own that’s clouding your judgement (such as fear of success, an old issue from the past, fear of doing course work, or of getting over dislike of another student). But keep in mind that you always do retain the choice, sometimes for your own safety and sanity, to walk away.

4. The tutor is not always right. In fact, I’ll go further, from experience as a tutor: the tutor is often wrong! However “together” they appear, your tutor is a human being, with their own foibles and issues going on under the surface. Hopefully, they’ll be aware of these most of these and do their very best to shield you from the effect of them (or turn them into an observation or story that benefits everyone).

Sadly though, occasionally, and especially where issues of power arise (such as when tutors hold onto the idea that they have power over students, instead of merely accompanying them on a journey) the tutor may not even be aware of what they are doing, or of its detrimental impact on you.

If you can, and it feels appropriate, one possibility is to let them know: a good tutor will appreciate honest feedback. If however, this doesn’t feel safe or appropriate, or you suspect that the tutor would dismiss the feedback, get busy consoling yourself with the thought that the situation is probably saying much more about them than it is about you (especially if others in the group agree with your perspective).

6. If you stay, make the very most of it. Sometimes this can be easier said than done. So here are some ideas for doing just that, even if you’re on a course that doesn’t thrill you.

-Place all your attention on what is positive about the experience, and that which you are learning from it.

-Remember that many of the things you gain from a “real world” or “bricks and mortar” course would never show up in a course blurb or syllabus anyway. For example, the course may cause you to make new friends amongst the other participants, to visit a new and beautiful location, to know that you can survive a challenging experience, or any number of inner insights that occur to you as you attend the session(s).

-Sometimes, a disappointing course can, perversely, boost your confidence, by affirming that you knew something already.

-Marshal all your resources and gain strength and confidence from getting through the experience.

-Use the experience (especially if the course is very “personal development” orientated) as an opportunity to observe, manage, and even transform, your reactions.

-And if all else fails, pick out the most entertaining aspects of it to tell others (with appropriate pauses for laughter/shock or both) at a later date.

It’s a pretty fervent hope of mine that as few people as possible ever need these tips. But if you do, I hope they’re useful.

More soon

Clare

PS. We’ll be back in the online/experimental world from now on in this blog!

Clare

The question is though, what to do with it to grab it by the tail and shove it out the way.

The very old-fashioned, “There’s no such word as can’t,” upon which I, and maybe you to was/were brought up actually isn’t a bad start. It alerts a person to the alternative.

Trouble is, when lethargy strikes, that can all seem too brisk and active, leading to even less progress.

A solution

One solution which has never failed me yet is a question which sneaks around the back of the wet blanket that is “can’t” and forces the real issue to come out from hiding.

Next time you have a “can’t attack”, ask yourself, “And what kind of “can’t” is this?”

For there’s a difference between say, “can’t do it because I don’t want to, ” and “can’t even though I want to, because I don’t have the resources.”

These differnces make it easier to come up with the real solution to your block (or someone else’s) and help you to move forward.

Hope this helps!

More soon.

Clare

And let’s face it, there are plenty of resources out there designed to help them to achieve it (including many in our free download section at www.Selfworks.Net

But, even better than achieving a measurable level of confidence, is achieving it easily. Here’s a very simple but effective process to help you(or someone you know) to start flipping the confidence scales in their favour.

1. Think about the area in which you’d like to feel more confident. In that area, do you usually:

a) Dwell on your talent and previous success in that area, or

b) Think about all that you could improve on in it, or wish was better?

If you’re like many people, you’re answer was probably more “b) ” than a).

So…No prizes for guessing what’s coming next. As an experiment, for one week, flip your thoughts in this area to be more of the “dwelling on talent and success in this area”.

Then at the end of that time, note how confident you feel in relation to this particular area.

It’s simple, but it works.

Hope it helps.

More soon

Clare

But something or someone (and I’m ashamed to say that I can’t remember who or what) planted a different idea in my head the other day. One which might encourage all of us to think about doubts and doubting in a different way.

And that thought was simply that doubts have a positive intention.

Obvious, when you think about it, as most of our behaviour does, even if it is sometimes buried very deep down.

So, this led me to thinking about the positive side of doubt. Here are three main benefits of it I figured out-you can probably come up with many more.

1) Doubt jolts us out of a comfort zones, and therefore, on to greater things. If we never had doubts like,”Is this all there is?” many great leaps of progress might never be made.

2) It helps many people to make better choices. Indecision might not be comfortable, but doubt forces us to keep listening to our intuition or instincts until the most comfortable choice possible can be made.

3) Doubt is often a shortcut to the deeper truth in a situation (as when you suspect that another person may not be being forthcoming about something, and doubt spurs you on to double-check the details).

In all of these cases, doubt helps to keep an individual or group safe and/or conversely, to urge them on. And it’s this idea that could help you the next time you feel “paralysis by analysis” to take hold of you. Here’s one possible process:

1. Identify the doubt, and really allow yourself to feel it, listen to it, and look at it fully.

2. How is the doubt working to attempt to provide you with growth, and/or safety?

3. Which steps do you need to take to allow yourself that safety margin or growth spurt, whilst still also moving forward appropriately?

In this way, you should be able to harvest the very best that doubts have to offer.

Hope this helps

More soon

Clare

Theeir simple “quick coherence” technique (see TM debate above) is designed to help you centre, calm and focus yourself within just a few breaths.

Simple to execute, simple to remember, and it works.

For the price of “Free” how can you beat that?

Check it out at:

http://www.heartmath.org/free-services/quick-coherence-technique.htm

Hope this helps

More soon

Clare

“Only speak when you have something to say”.

The point behind this is that it leaves the airways clear for people whose moment has come to voice something that matters to them.

It also helps me be heard when I do say something.

And hence, in a roundabout way, the reason why there has been no blog for days. In a nutshell, there has been so much going on, that rather than make up a piece of waffle, I’ve been uncharacteristically quiet.

And true to the principle, I’ll also be back on full power when life calms down and I do have something to say. (And/or, if life is just as hectic, but something worthing blogging about catches my attention).

Hope this makes sense-and I’ll be back soon

Clare

So far, I’ve been on about timescales, and digging down to the truth of what you really want.

“Essence”

This last section’s about “essence”.

“I don’t get it!” you may be saying. “What’s she on about, “essence?” “Isn’t that for cooking, or perfume?”

Well, yes. But in this case, I’m thinking about the essence of what you really want. In other words, what would be your feeling, or internal experience, if you had what you want?

For example, before I met my Long Suffering (but I think happy) Spouse (LSS will be well-known to you if you read this often) I never used to think about how I’d feel in a happy, long-term relationship.

One day, I did start imagining that. And within weeks, I’d met LSS.

The advantages

The advantages of essence go beyond getting clarity about what you want, or being able to attract what you want more easily (powerful though both ideas are).

If you know the essence of what you want, you cna also begin to incorporate it into your life much sooner. This will both stop you from climbing the walls whilst you’re working towards your outcome, and contribute even more to the “attractive power” we’ve just spoken about.

An example of this will probably make the most sense.Take a hypothetical person called John. John has been an accountant for many years, but has always secretly yearned to be a craftsman, crafting beautiful objects in wood. The essence of the actual experience he wants is the emotional feeling and physical sensation of crafting beautiful objects. And even whilst he’s working in an office, he’s free to daydream about what this would be like. More practically, he’s also free to craft actual objects in his spare time.

By doing this, he’ll:

1) Relieve his frustrations at work by experiencing some of what he wants each day, right away.
2) Get more experience, so that when the time comes and he makes a career change, the experience is there.
3) Let others know about this skill, so that they can admire (and perhaps even buy or recommend) his objects and help him to build an internal sense of his new possible role as a master craftsman. And yes, you’ve guessed it….this may well make that role-change happen faster, and more easily.

So…

So there you have it. Three tips on getting what you want that work together in the background, and may often give you (or someone you know) the boost that they need.

Hope this helps.

Have a great weekend.

Clare

Why this should be isn’t always clear. Perhaps there are ever-more choices. Perhaps people’s expectations for their lives are increasing (and, being in favour of choice and freedom, I’m in favour of both those trends too!)

But it does all lead to people feeling overwhelmed sometimes If this describes you, or people you know or work with, over the next few days, (because the points are too big to tackle all in one sitting) I’ll be passing on some thoughts that have worked for me, and for clients, in making the question, “What Do I Really Want?” a bit easier to handle.

Point One: Timescale

By choosing a timescale for that which you may want, the question becomes easier, and appropriate answers are more apparent. After all, what you really want in the next six months may be very different to that which you’d like to achieve in a lifetime.

Chew over this if it’s helpful to you, and there’ll be more tomorrow.

Clare