Latest Freebies February 23, 2008
Posted by selfworks in Uncategorized.Tags: free, Freebies, manifestation, personal development, success
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Just a quick post this one, to let you know that three more freebies have made their way into the Goodybag (one on success, one on the seemingly ever-popular topic of manifestation and the third which is impossihble to categorise, but a good read).
Use the links below to signup if you need to, or if you’re already a member, you can login at:
http://www.selfworks.net/goodybagtreats/
Have fun!
More soon
Clare
Is Success Holding You Back? November 21, 2007
Posted by selfworks in Uncategorized.Tags: NLP, success, success_strategy, technique, tip
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“But, how can success hold you back?” I hear you cry, in puzzlement.
I know, it’s a weird statement, but hear me out, especially if you, or someone you know, has been wanting to “move to the next level” in any area of their life.
You see, for a very long time, we’ve all been told that expansion and growth means moving past fear, overcoming psychological demons, and whatnot.
And obviously, there’s an element of that for many people.
But there’s also another element which it’s easy to overlook, and it’s this.
In order to achieve any existing level of success in any area, an individual will have been using one kind of strategy. For example, a person may at one timehave discovered personal development, NLP, and had a phenomenal breakthrough in their relationships and/or working life.
Trouble is, because it has been the basis for so much existing success, if the stepping-stone to something even greater requires a completely different approach (eg perhaps doing something academic, or something very practical, like moving house or country) the person concerned may resist the new change, and hence, the greater success.
Thoughts may run through their mind like:
“My [old ticket to success] has worked really well for me. I can’t risk giving up what I’ve already gained/ haven’t the heart to lay it aside when it’s done such great things for me.”
And so, previous success can actually get in a person’s way when they need to move on.
What’s to be done?
If you think that you, or someone you know, may be in this kind of trap, a mini-process that works goes like this:
1. Ask yourself, “When I last made a major change, what was the element, resource or strategy that I discovered, which made the change possible?
2. Then ask, “In what way(s) might overr-use of this resource or strategyy be holding me back now?
3. Then, “If I were open to any approach as a way of moving forward, what might I pick?” Really take time to think about how things might be if you used a totally new strategy with which to move forward.
4. When you have an answer to 3. which may conflict with the strategy/resource from question one, consciously “thank” your existing approach for all it has given you. Reassure yourself that you won’t be disgarding it, and that it remains in your toolbox for use whenever you need it, but that you need to bring in other tools right now, to move forward.
5. And then make your new choices.
Hope this helps
More soon
Clare
The Second Mouse? October 18, 2007
Posted by selfworks in Uncategorized.Tags: success, success_strategy
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Aargh. It’s been one of those weeks, with neither technology nor scheduling going quite to plan. But it has been a week with lots of interaction…And one thought that someone voiced really got me thinking.
You see, I love to come up with new ideas, and tend to feel rather guilty if I ever say or do something that’s not as original as it might be. (Even though statistically, many people who are what might be termed conventionally successful, in the business world and elsewhere, are that way because they model other people’s methods for success).
Yet something in me has always taken up the challenge of being always the first person to volunteer, or try something.
So, the phrase that was uttered to me this week really hit home. It was:
“The second mouse gets the cheese.”
(And it was such an alien concept, it even took a while to get my head round the rather unpleasant fact that this would be because mouse number one had been caught in the trap first).
So, does being the second person or entity to do something, work? Well, Microsoft weren’t the first to introduce a friendly interface…but love ‘em or loathe ‘em, most people would probably concede they’ve done alright. And we’ve probably all seen examples of situations where we (or our friends and family) rush in to help in a situation, or to conquer something, only to be beaten in the end by the more analytical person who stands back, watches your mistakes, and then sweeps the board.
It’s just that the concept of waiting, and of not attempting to go first, still sits strangely with me, even though that is what NLP modelling, to name but one technique, is all about. What of innovation, “striking while the iron is hot”, or “first-mover advantage”?
But this idea of being the second mouse makes logical sense. And strangely, I’ve got the chance to put it into practice with a couple of projects in the next week or so.
So, with trepidation, I’ll be testing it, as an exercise in flexibility, if nothing else.
More soon-and thanks for your patience in waiting for this post!
Clare
Resilient, or successfuL? August 20, 2007
Posted by selfworks in Uncategorized.Tags: pewrsonal development, resilience, self-sabotage, success
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Just a quick note to assure you that I’m still here, and very aplogetic that the blog has been disjointed of late.
To kick things off in a new direction, here’s a thought I had after watching the latest episode of “Child of Our Time ” last night.
(If you’ve never seen it, it’s a BBC programme following a set of children over time as they grow up).
The topic last night was,” What makes a winner?” And one of the traits they talked about was resilience, or the ability to bounce back after difficulties.
And it’s true, every successful person I know, or can think of, seems to be able to do this.
But you can, from early (or later) experience, be one of those people who life has made hyper-resilient, and still not consider yourself to be “a winner”.
Could it be that if you have nothing but setbacks to overcome in your early life, (and I’m thinking about this in a way that’s closer to home than perhaps I’d like!) it becomes easy to deal with knocks and setbacks, but much harder to deal with success?
In other words, could “reslilience without optimism” be a possible cause of our old foe in the personal development world, self-sabotage?
Just a thought, but I hope it’s helpful.
More soon.
Clare
Confidence-Can it Come Easily? August 10, 2007
Posted by selfworks in Uncategorized.Tags: confidence, personal_development, personal_development_tip, success
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One thing you learn as a coach is that almost everyone, whatever their external appearance or “position” might suggest, feels that they’d like more confidence in one or more areas of their life.
And let’s face it, there are plenty of resources out there designed to help them to achieve it (including many in our free download section at www.Selfworks.Net 
But, even better than achieving a measurable level of confidence, is achieving it easily. Here’s a very simple but effective process to help you(or someone you know) to start flipping the confidence scales in their favour.
1. Think about the area in which you’d like to feel more confident. In that area, do you usually:
a) Dwell on your talent and previous success in that area, or
b) Think about all that you could improve on in it, or wish was better?
If you’re like many people, you’re answer was probably more “b) ” than a).
So…No prizes for guessing what’s coming next. As an experiment, for one week, flip your thoughts in this area to be more of the “dwelling on talent and success in this area”.
Then at the end of that time, note how confident you feel in relation to this particular area.
It’s simple, but it works.
Hope it helps.
More soon
Clare
The Dream Stealers May 21, 2007
Posted by selfworks in Uncategorized.Tags: doubts, encouragement, follow-your-dream, personal_development, success
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Back aspromised…and with a thought to help you if you’re launching a new project or nurturing a cherished dream along.
Only you really know in your heart what you want, and what you are able to achieve…even eaving aside hoary but true old chesnuts around “If you think you can, you’re right and if you think you can’t you’re also right”.
So, there you are, nurturing a dream, and even better, taking practical steps to achieve it. (A “classic” example of this where a person wants to branch out from an employed job into running their own show, but it could apply in more-or-less any context).
Anfd then along coomes someone who questions your dream, because they’re “only trying to help”.
Now, if that person has already been along a similar path and is really “trying to help” prick up your ears and listen.
Otherwise, by all means listen, but ask yourself this question first,
“What would this person be forced to admit to themselves if I succeed?”
And nine times out of ten, you’ll find that the person would be forced to confront their own situation or failure to act if you succeed and they stay where they are. As when a well-meaning, but employed family member continually stresses the risk, rather than ever thinking about the opportunities, inherent in self-employment.
Undoubtedly, this reaction of fear is understandable. 99.9% of the time, the person giving the “advice” is completely unaware of this underpinning driver of keeping themselves safe by attempting to keep everything (and everybody) “the same”.
But if you’re following a dream, follow that dream. Be compassionate towards others’ fears, but I dare you to bring your dreams into reality, and let your choice be the one that counts, rather than someone else’s.
Hope this helps.
More soon.
Clare
