New Year Resolutions? December 31, 2007
Posted by selfworks in Uncategorized.Tags: change, Jan 1st, New_Year, personal development, resolutions, technique, tip
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It’s that New Year’s resolution time of year again…The question is, how will you feel about the resolution you want, today, 12 months from now?
In the past, as you may remember if you’ve been reading the blog for long, I’ve been a bit sniffy about New Year’s resolutions. Along the lines of, “Following the crowd is generally a bad idea…Winter-in the Northern hemisphere-is a lousy time for a life change…” Etc, etc.
But actually, there is one form of resolution that has worked for me for several years, even when made in time for January 1st, rather than in spring.
And seeing as the vogue for Jan 1st resolutions isn’t going to disappear anytime soon, it makes sense to explain the method here.
It’s far more than just a, “quick fix”, so I’m going to split it into parts over more than one post. But here’s the first step:
Imagine that it is December 31st, 2008. What would you like to be saying, doing and feeling, as a habitual and accepted part of your life, that is different from your state today?
(If you can think of more than one thing, pick th one that feels as if it matters the most. If nothing springs to mind, ponder this for a few hours until something meaningful pops into your mind).
That’s it for the first stage….More in the next post. And remember, even though people make resolutions on January 1st, they can be for the whole year, not just Jan 1st.
Hope this helps
More in the next post.
Clare
Is Success Holding You Back? November 21, 2007
Posted by selfworks in Uncategorized.Tags: NLP, success, success_strategy, technique, tip
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“But, how can success hold you back?” I hear you cry, in puzzlement.
I know, it’s a weird statement, but hear me out, especially if you, or someone you know, has been wanting to “move to the next level” in any area of their life.
You see, for a very long time, we’ve all been told that expansion and growth means moving past fear, overcoming psychological demons, and whatnot.
And obviously, there’s an element of that for many people.
But there’s also another element which it’s easy to overlook, and it’s this.
In order to achieve any existing level of success in any area, an individual will have been using one kind of strategy. For example, a person may at one timehave discovered personal development, NLP, and had a phenomenal breakthrough in their relationships and/or working life.
Trouble is, because it has been the basis for so much existing success, if the stepping-stone to something even greater requires a completely different approach (eg perhaps doing something academic, or something very practical, like moving house or country) the person concerned may resist the new change, and hence, the greater success.
Thoughts may run through their mind like:
“My [old ticket to success] has worked really well for me. I can’t risk giving up what I’ve already gained/ haven’t the heart to lay it aside when it’s done such great things for me.”
And so, previous success can actually get in a person’s way when they need to move on.
What’s to be done?
If you think that you, or someone you know, may be in this kind of trap, a mini-process that works goes like this:
1. Ask yourself, “When I last made a major change, what was the element, resource or strategy that I discovered, which made the change possible?
2. Then ask, “In what way(s) might overr-use of this resource or strategyy be holding me back now?
3. Then, “If I were open to any approach as a way of moving forward, what might I pick?” Really take time to think about how things might be if you used a totally new strategy with which to move forward.
4. When you have an answer to 3. which may conflict with the strategy/resource from question one, consciously “thank” your existing approach for all it has given you. Reassure yourself that you won’t be disgarding it, and that it remains in your toolbox for use whenever you need it, but that you need to bring in other tools right now, to move forward.
5. And then make your new choices.
Hope this helps
More soon
Clare
Meditation: An Ultra-Simple Tip? November 15, 2007
Posted by selfworks in Meditation and Relaxation, Wellbeing.Tags: breathing, busy, calm, meditation, relaxation, stress, technique, tip
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Do you ever find yourself wanting to meditate (or even just find time to relax) but feeling unable to do so because, “There just isn’t time and I’m too busy”.
If this is the case, you’re not alone. It happens to lots of us, given the speed of the world, and despite being a coach and supposedly knowing better, I have to put my hand up and ‘fess up to having this problem sometimes as well.
But help is at hand
The good news is, there’s an easy, simple and free way to overcome this problem, that I discovered by accident, but have begun to use more and more.
Whenever you next have this problem, just do the following.
1. Sit down.
2. Take a series of regular breaths, preferably where your in-breath, outbreath and pause between each in ans out phase of breath is roughly equal. So for example, you might breath in for a count of a particular number, pause for a count of the same number, breath out for a count of that number, and pause before the next breath for a count of the same number. The trick is also to do this just until you feel relaxed, which should only take three or four cycles of this at most.
(As to how long your count should be, or indeed, whether this exact sequence will be right for you as an individual…I can’t comment, but can only leave you to decide this for yourself.Only choose to do what feels comfortable for you as an individual. Some people will want a count of three or four, I happen to like six, and some people might even want eight. Or to make the count different for different phases of the breath. Or to breathe in a different way that suits their health and ability. Consult someone who knows your medical history, if in doubt).
The point of this phase is simply that you have a means of breathing and concentrating on it that works for you.
3. This third stage of actually meditating, then magically takes care of itself. Having persuaded yourself to sit down and do the breathing, “because after all, it’s only a few breaths and therefore a minute or so”, you’re then suddenly in a state where meditation seems a much more feasible and attractive idea, whether you carry on with breathwork, or any other type of meditation that you care to name.
Do try this, and check out how it goes for you. As a way to get round your conscious and “busy” mind, it may be one of the simplest tricks yet that actually works.
Hope this helps
More soon
Clare
